9/11. Those three numbers elicit such vivid memories for everyone. Everyone can probably tell you precisely where they were on that infamous day. I remember that I was walking to my first class of the day at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland. I remember getting there and the professor was late (which never happened). Then, he walked in and explained to us that a passenger plane hit the World Trade Center in New York and that class was cancelled for the day. I recall slowly walking back to my dorm trying to let my mind process what I had just heard. I remember sitting in our dorm suite with some guys watching the TV, our eyes becoming dry because we refused to blink and then we saw the second plane hit. Just then the words "terrorist attack" and "hijacked planes" starting being repeated again and again.
I had never experienced anything like this. Others generations remember Kennedy being shot or Pearl Harbor being bombed. This would become my generation's Pearl Harbor. This would become that day we would never forget. I remember watching TV for countless hours, taking in every word that news anchors had to say. All of the theories, all of the stories, all of the speculation. I couldn't pry myself from the television because my brain could not quite process what my eyes were witnessing. I was witnessing a day that would change the world as we know it. Airport security would change the way we travel. A select few of a certain religion that masterminded the attacks would provide new heights to stereotyping.
And today as we remember 9/11 and it's 10 year anniversary, we are all brought back to that day. I was confident that that event would always be the only thing that would come to mind when I hear 9/11. However, that all changed a couple of months ago. Now 9/11 means something so much more personal. 9/11 hits so much closer to home that it did before. Today (9/11) was the due date for our Gabrielle who we lost earlier this year. 9/11 will now always be the day my baby should have been born. I can still remember that day that we found out that we lost our baby and the doctor telling us there was no heartbeat. I remember walking down the hall to where my mom was to tell her that we had lost our baby but not being able to get any words out and just sobbing uncontrollably. I can still remember holding our tiny lifeless baby in my hand as if it were yesterday.
Today as we wait to bring home our baby from Ethiopia, I can't help but think of the baby we should have with us today. Yet, as I think of our baby, I realize that our baby is in a much better place. I realize that our baby is in the arms of a father that is far more loving and far more good than I can ever dream to be. I realize that even though it still doesn't make sense to me why our baby isn't here, God's ways are not our ways and God's thoughts are not our thoughts. I realize that 9/11 will always mean something different to my wife and me than it will to almost everyone else in the world. I also realize that God is good. I realize that He alone is my strength and He alone is my hope. I put my trust in Him alone.
I love you and miss you Gabrielle. I wish I had gotten to see you grow into a beautiful woman but I know that I will see you someday. Until then, I hope that by your death, God will be glorified. I pray that He will use the life that you had for such a short time to give a life to someone that only He could give.
No comments:
Post a Comment