Busy at all the wrong things

So I just got done reading the book "Crazy Busy" by Kevin DeYoung who is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. Man was this a much needed book in my life. Some serious conviction that has led to some rethinking my priorities.

The really convicting chapters were those on parenting, technology and sitting at the feet of Jesus. Things that I feel like I fall short (parenting), spend too much time on (technology) and spend too little time on (sitting at the feet of Jesus).

First parenting, I feel like I spend so much time trying to correct my 4 year old's behavior all the while thinking if I just limit her TV watching to this amount of time, give her a set routine for bedtime and not stray from it, say no to any juice after dinner and before lunch, express my frustration with her when she pees her pants because she is "too busy" to walk away from the TV or from playing with her dolls, and the list goes on. However, as I began to look back at my childhood and the way my parents brought me up, I do not remember any of the rules that they gave and don't really feel like they shaped me as much as I hope mine will shape my children's. What I do remember are our camping trips, playing kick the can with my dad and uncles, shooting around in the driveway with my dad. The memories. I need to spend more time making memories with my kids instead of making more rules for my kids.

Technology: I spend way, way too much time on my phone especially. I always have it by my side. I always answer text messages within a minute of when I receive them (and wrongly expect others to do the same for me), always am checking the twitter feed, Facebook statuses, sports scores, etc. I didn't think it effected Olivia much, that is until my wife said she was playing dolls and at some point in the conversation she was having with her dolls, she said something along the lines of "daddy is busy on his phone." Conviction from dolls. Gotta love it. I need to spend more time getting on the floor with my kids and playing dolls with my little girl and leave my phone upstairs or maybe somewhere out of arms reach and only answer in case of emergency. They are only this age for so long, and then they will be too old to play with mom and dad anymore.

And finally, and most importantly, I need to spend a lot more time at the feet of Christ! He is the vine from which all life flows, why do I stay disconnected from Him so much? Why do I value sleep so much that I wake up just before my kids a lot of the time and only have 15-30 minutes to spend with my Lord and Savior of my soul? If he is truly my most valuable "possession" why do I spend so much more time with everything else and only save what seems to be leftovers for Him? I need have my nose buried in His Word, my hands raised in worship of His Name and my knees bowed in humble dependence on His sustenance.

Crazy Busy - Kevin DeYoung

So it has been 5 months since my last blog post. Ironically, the reason I haven't posted in awhile is that I have been crazy busy and now my first blog is on the book "Crazy Busy" by Kevin DeYoung. This was a much needed book for me. This blog post will just be a review/summary but I intend on blogging about how this book really convicted me, challenged me and ultimately brings me to my knees in prayer.

DeYoung starts with some convicting questions. "Do you regularly work thirty minutes a day longer than your contracted hours? Do you check work e-mails and phone messages at home? Has anyone ever said to you 'I didn't want to trouble you because I know how busy you are'? Do you family or friends complain about not getting time with you? If tomorrow evening were unexpectedly freed up, would you use it to do work or a household chore? Do you often feel tired during the day or do you find your next and shoulders aching? Do you often exceed the speed limit while driving? Do you make use of any flexible working arrangements offered by your employers? Do you pray with your children regularly? Do you have enough time to pray? Do you have a hobby in which you are actively involved? Do you eat together as a family or household at least once a day?"

DeYoung warns of three dangers of busyness. It can ruin our joy (when we are so busy, we are more prone to anxiety, resentment, impatience and irritability), rob our hearts (our hearts go towards what keeps us busy) and it can cover up the rot in our souls (just because we are busy does not mean we are OK spiritually).

He then argues that busyness stems from pride which manifests itself in several P's; people pleasing, pats on the back, performance evaluation, possessions, proving myself, poor planing, pity, power, perfectionism, position, prestige and posting.

One of the big battles with busyness in the Christian church is this feeling that we have to do everything. We need to serve the homeless, be involved at every meeting, We need to realize we are not Christ, caring is not the same as doing and Jesus didn't do it all. It's one thing to have a care for everyone and it's a completely different thing to feel the obligation to do everything for everyone to "serve" them.

One way to help our busyness is to set priorities and realize we cannot do it all. We need to set priorities and cut things out. As Dave Crenshaw argues, "the brain really can't put forth effort in two mental processes at the same time." Multitasking is impossible.

Then he tackles parenting and this thought that parents have (myself included) that if we just do the right things, say the right things, keep our kids from doing certain things but allowing them to do certain things, they will turn out OK. However, "parents have a noticeable effect on how kids experience and remember their childhood." By us being less busy, we can give our children a more enjoyable and memorable childhood.

After parenting he doesn't let up on the gas at all and he goes into electronics. It is so easy to become addicted and to fill our mind with information but never engage our mind. We need to be purposeful to put technology down, we need to make boundaries on when and how much we use technology and be more conscience of how it effects those around us.

All this leads to the fact that we need to set a regular rhythm of our days and weeks and make sure to set aside a day of rest.

After all these ways we are busy, DeYoung says that we are meant to be busy. Which is a little confusing since he has been talking about all the bad things that come from busyness but I think his point is, busyness that is wrong is when we are busy doing the wrong things instead of being busy doing the best things that God has for us to do.

He ends it by taking us to the cross of Christ which is where everything in this life should start and end. "I must spend more time with Jesus!" that won't last. We have to believe that hearing from God is our good portion. We have to believe that the most significant opportunity before us every day is the opportunity to sit at the feet of Jesus. We won't rearrange our priorities unless we really believe this is the best one"

Memorable Quotes 

"Busyness does not mean you are a faithful or fruitful Christian. It only means you are busy, just like everyone else" - Page 32

"Am I trying to do good or to make myself look good?" - Page 39

The cross says "I'll do anything to follow Jesus, not a cross that says I have to do everything for Jesus" - Page 51

"Men do seem more likely to choose their job at a cost to their family, while women seem more likely to choose their family at a cost to their job" - Page 59

"The people on this planet who end up doing nothing are those who never realized they couldn't do everything" - Page 60

Quoting Bryan Caplan in Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids - "Parents make their work more difficult than it has to be because they overestimate how much depends on them for the future well-
being of their children" - Page 68

"If my goal is God-glorifying productivity over a lifetime of hard work, there are few things I need more than a regular rhythm of rest" - Page 92

"Of all the concerns in our lives, can we honestly say and show that sitting at the feet of Jesus is the one thing that is necessary?" - Page 113

"No single practice brings more peace and discipline to life than sitting at the feet of Jesus" - Page 113