perfect missed opportunity

So the other day, I was sitting at Starbucks enjoying some relaxation that consisted of reading and sipping on my tall iced coffee with two pumps of caramel, one pump of vanilla and cream (the poor man's Caramel Macchiato as one person called it). Anyways, so I was sitting in a nice comfy leather chair reading David Platt's book "Follow Me" (highly recommend this book as I do all Platt books really) and this lady comes and sits in the chair next to me. At first I didn't think anything of it but then I was like, this would be a perfect opportunity to witness to someone. I have really been struggling with my witnessing or lack thereof for that matter and I have been looking for opportunities to be more vocal about my faith. So this lady is sitting next to me, perfect opportunity I think to myself...

Then I begin the normal questions that come in my mind, "How would I start a conversation with a random stranger?" "What if she is enjoying a nice relaxing evening and doesn't want to be bothered?" "What if she is offended by me even mentioning the name of Jesus?" "What if she has questions that I don't know how to answer?"

Then, as I am going through these questions in my mind and reading the book, I come to the following words in the book (I swear I couldn't have planned this to be even more perfect if I tried)

"So imagine sitting at a coffee shop today. What if God has been preparing the woman at the table next to you to hear the gospel? What if he has sovereignly arranged the circumstances in her life to set the stage for a conversation you will have with her about Jesus? What is God desires to use you, as you speak the gospel to her today, to change her life forever. But, you might think, it's just not that easy to speak about Jesus to the person sitting next to me at a coffee shop. We all have fears that quickly rise to the surface - the fear of offending someone, the fear of saying the wrong thing, the fear of being rejected, or even just the fear of initiating an awkward conversation. Yet such fears are only a sign that we are forgetting who we are. We are followers of Christ who have been crucified with Him; we no longer live, but Christ lives in us. He has united his life with ours and put His Spirit in us for this purpose. Without him, we have reason to fear; with Him, we have reason for faith."

Wow, talk about everything setting up for a perfect opportunity to share the gospel. Ok, so now what. So first I lay down my book mark on the table between us that says "Jesus" in red letters, thinking maybe that'll spark a conversation (as if anytime anyone sees the name Jesus, they will automatically pour their heart out). Needless to say, that didn't work. Ok, I can do this. What should I say first...after much debating...she packs up her things and walks out the door...I never said a word...

As I sit here now in the same coffee shop, I am still overcome by sadness and embarrassment. But at the same time, I feel motivated and empowered. It's as if God used this perfect missed opportunity to give me a wake up call. I need to never let this happen again. I have people all around me each day that are dying and going to hell and I sit around and open my mouth to sip on my poor man's caramel macchiato but never open my mouth to share the words that lead to eternal life...never again.

Busy at all the wrong things

So I just got done reading the book "Crazy Busy" by Kevin DeYoung who is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. Man was this a much needed book in my life. Some serious conviction that has led to some rethinking my priorities.

The really convicting chapters were those on parenting, technology and sitting at the feet of Jesus. Things that I feel like I fall short (parenting), spend too much time on (technology) and spend too little time on (sitting at the feet of Jesus).

First parenting, I feel like I spend so much time trying to correct my 4 year old's behavior all the while thinking if I just limit her TV watching to this amount of time, give her a set routine for bedtime and not stray from it, say no to any juice after dinner and before lunch, express my frustration with her when she pees her pants because she is "too busy" to walk away from the TV or from playing with her dolls, and the list goes on. However, as I began to look back at my childhood and the way my parents brought me up, I do not remember any of the rules that they gave and don't really feel like they shaped me as much as I hope mine will shape my children's. What I do remember are our camping trips, playing kick the can with my dad and uncles, shooting around in the driveway with my dad. The memories. I need to spend more time making memories with my kids instead of making more rules for my kids.

Technology: I spend way, way too much time on my phone especially. I always have it by my side. I always answer text messages within a minute of when I receive them (and wrongly expect others to do the same for me), always am checking the twitter feed, Facebook statuses, sports scores, etc. I didn't think it effected Olivia much, that is until my wife said she was playing dolls and at some point in the conversation she was having with her dolls, she said something along the lines of "daddy is busy on his phone." Conviction from dolls. Gotta love it. I need to spend more time getting on the floor with my kids and playing dolls with my little girl and leave my phone upstairs or maybe somewhere out of arms reach and only answer in case of emergency. They are only this age for so long, and then they will be too old to play with mom and dad anymore.

And finally, and most importantly, I need to spend a lot more time at the feet of Christ! He is the vine from which all life flows, why do I stay disconnected from Him so much? Why do I value sleep so much that I wake up just before my kids a lot of the time and only have 15-30 minutes to spend with my Lord and Savior of my soul? If he is truly my most valuable "possession" why do I spend so much more time with everything else and only save what seems to be leftovers for Him? I need have my nose buried in His Word, my hands raised in worship of His Name and my knees bowed in humble dependence on His sustenance.

Crazy Busy - Kevin DeYoung

So it has been 5 months since my last blog post. Ironically, the reason I haven't posted in awhile is that I have been crazy busy and now my first blog is on the book "Crazy Busy" by Kevin DeYoung. This was a much needed book for me. This blog post will just be a review/summary but I intend on blogging about how this book really convicted me, challenged me and ultimately brings me to my knees in prayer.

DeYoung starts with some convicting questions. "Do you regularly work thirty minutes a day longer than your contracted hours? Do you check work e-mails and phone messages at home? Has anyone ever said to you 'I didn't want to trouble you because I know how busy you are'? Do you family or friends complain about not getting time with you? If tomorrow evening were unexpectedly freed up, would you use it to do work or a household chore? Do you often feel tired during the day or do you find your next and shoulders aching? Do you often exceed the speed limit while driving? Do you make use of any flexible working arrangements offered by your employers? Do you pray with your children regularly? Do you have enough time to pray? Do you have a hobby in which you are actively involved? Do you eat together as a family or household at least once a day?"

DeYoung warns of three dangers of busyness. It can ruin our joy (when we are so busy, we are more prone to anxiety, resentment, impatience and irritability), rob our hearts (our hearts go towards what keeps us busy) and it can cover up the rot in our souls (just because we are busy does not mean we are OK spiritually).

He then argues that busyness stems from pride which manifests itself in several P's; people pleasing, pats on the back, performance evaluation, possessions, proving myself, poor planing, pity, power, perfectionism, position, prestige and posting.

One of the big battles with busyness in the Christian church is this feeling that we have to do everything. We need to serve the homeless, be involved at every meeting, We need to realize we are not Christ, caring is not the same as doing and Jesus didn't do it all. It's one thing to have a care for everyone and it's a completely different thing to feel the obligation to do everything for everyone to "serve" them.

One way to help our busyness is to set priorities and realize we cannot do it all. We need to set priorities and cut things out. As Dave Crenshaw argues, "the brain really can't put forth effort in two mental processes at the same time." Multitasking is impossible.

Then he tackles parenting and this thought that parents have (myself included) that if we just do the right things, say the right things, keep our kids from doing certain things but allowing them to do certain things, they will turn out OK. However, "parents have a noticeable effect on how kids experience and remember their childhood." By us being less busy, we can give our children a more enjoyable and memorable childhood.

After parenting he doesn't let up on the gas at all and he goes into electronics. It is so easy to become addicted and to fill our mind with information but never engage our mind. We need to be purposeful to put technology down, we need to make boundaries on when and how much we use technology and be more conscience of how it effects those around us.

All this leads to the fact that we need to set a regular rhythm of our days and weeks and make sure to set aside a day of rest.

After all these ways we are busy, DeYoung says that we are meant to be busy. Which is a little confusing since he has been talking about all the bad things that come from busyness but I think his point is, busyness that is wrong is when we are busy doing the wrong things instead of being busy doing the best things that God has for us to do.

He ends it by taking us to the cross of Christ which is where everything in this life should start and end. "I must spend more time with Jesus!" that won't last. We have to believe that hearing from God is our good portion. We have to believe that the most significant opportunity before us every day is the opportunity to sit at the feet of Jesus. We won't rearrange our priorities unless we really believe this is the best one"

Memorable Quotes 

"Busyness does not mean you are a faithful or fruitful Christian. It only means you are busy, just like everyone else" - Page 32

"Am I trying to do good or to make myself look good?" - Page 39

The cross says "I'll do anything to follow Jesus, not a cross that says I have to do everything for Jesus" - Page 51

"Men do seem more likely to choose their job at a cost to their family, while women seem more likely to choose their family at a cost to their job" - Page 59

"The people on this planet who end up doing nothing are those who never realized they couldn't do everything" - Page 60

Quoting Bryan Caplan in Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids - "Parents make their work more difficult than it has to be because they overestimate how much depends on them for the future well-
being of their children" - Page 68

"If my goal is God-glorifying productivity over a lifetime of hard work, there are few things I need more than a regular rhythm of rest" - Page 92

"Of all the concerns in our lives, can we honestly say and show that sitting at the feet of Jesus is the one thing that is necessary?" - Page 113

"No single practice brings more peace and discipline to life than sitting at the feet of Jesus" - Page 113

The Holy in our Holiness - Kevin DeYoung

This is a book, as DeYoung puts it, written because "we don't seem to care much about holiness. Or, at the very least, we don't understand it. This is a book for those of us who are ready to take holiness seriously,

ready to be more like Jesus, ready to live in the light of the grace that produces godliness. This is a book about God's power to help us grow in personal holiness and to enjoy the process of transformation."

Ephesians 1 states that God saved us so that we would "be holy and blameless before him." If he saved us so that we would become holy, I think that holiness and the pursuit of holiness is more important than we tend to show by our actions. However, holiness comes from the heart not from a checklist. DeYoung says that "mere rule keeping is not the answer because holiness cannot be reduced to a little ethical refurbishment." God doesn't give us commands so that we legalistically follow to please him, He gives us commands "as a means of grace so that we might grow in godliness and show that we love him."

So how do we balance the fact that we are no longer "under the law" and yet still are called to "obey all that (Jesus) commanded?" First of all, obeying the law CANNOT save us, however, obeying the law is how Christ says that we can know that we are in Him and are true disciples. "Our good works are accepted by God, not because they are 'wholly unblameable and unreproveable in God's sight," but because God is pleased through Christ to accept our sincere obedience, although it contains many weaknesses and imperfections." It is solely by his grace that our imperfect obedience is acceptable in his sight.

When we sin, it's not that our salvation is in jeopardy but sinning affects our communion with Christ. I have seen this in my life, when I sin, I feel my fellowship with Christ suffer because I don't desire to be in the word or in prayer as much as when I am walking closer to Him. We pursue communion with Christ in 4 distinct ways, through prayer, through the Bible, through fellowship with other believers and through taking the Lord's Supper. As John Owen said trying to be holy "from a self-strength, carried on by ways of self-invention, unto the end of a self-righteousness, is the soul and substance of all false religion in the world." The fact is, we can't obey in our own strength to the end that we try to justify ourselves in the presence of God. Both are impossible. Obedience to the God the Father is only possible through the work and help of God the Spirit and justification to God the Father is only possible through God the Son. The trinity is essential to our salvation and obedience.

However, this is not saying that we don't need to put any effort into obedience because it is all a work of God. As Paul says, we need to "work out our salvation with fear and trembling (us working) for it is God who works in you (God working)". Both-and not either-or.

Another main reason we are able to live a life of obedience is that we belong to Christ and we are joined to Him. Therefore, we are "dead to sin and alive to righteousness", "new creations", "no longer slaves to sin but slaves to righteousness" and we can "walk as he did."

From here, DeYoung tackles sexual immorality and points out that just like in the Old Testament you had Israel who was unaware of their blind spots because they had become so pressed into the mold of the culture around them that it became normal and they were no longer sensitive to it, this is the same as the 21st century church and sexual sin. We need to flee from sexual immorality, not walk, not dabble...run! Why? One big reason is in 1 Corinthians where Paul basically says because we are one body with Christ now, when we engage in sexual immorality, it's like dragging Christ into it as well.

Finally, we need to realize that perfect holiness is not achievable on this side of heaven but we need to see continuing sanctification so that we are becoming more and more like Christ. We also need to realize that "direction matters more than position." I think it can be easy to point fingers at people sometimes and wonder why they aren't where we are spiritually (or at least I have seen this unfortunately happen in my life) but we we need to see the grace of God in everyone's life and see that we are all progressing in sanctification. Some are progressing slower than others, some seem to be more behind than others but that could be because perhaps their starting point was a lot lower than others so even though they are "behind", the progressive sanctification that God has miraculously performed in their lives is something to rejoice and praise God for.

"God wants you to be holy. Through faith he already counts you holy in Christ. Now he intends to make you holy with Christ"

Memorable Quotes

"First God delivered the Israelites from Egypt, then he gave them the law. God's people were not redeemed by observing the law, but they were redeemed so that they might obey the law." (Page 45)

"The truth is God's people can be righteous - not perfectly, but truly, and in a way that genuinely pleases God" (Page 64)

"Our good works are accepted by God, not because they are 'wholly unblameable and unreproveable in God's sight,' but because God is pleased through Christ to accept our sincere obedience, although it contains many weaknesses and imperfections" (Page 67)

"When every sing is seen as the same, we are less likely to fight any sins at all" (Page 72)

"When we sin, our union with Christ is not in jeopardy. But our communion is" (Page 74)

"If we understand all that God has done for us in Christ, we will be happy and eager to please him" (Page 83)

"Some Christians are stalled out in their sanctification for simple lack of effort" (Page 90)

"Sin may get in some good jabs. It may clean your clock once in a while. It may bring you to your knees. But if you are in Christ it will never knock you out. You are no longer a slave, but free. Sin has no dominion over you. It can't. It won't. A new King sits on the throne. You serve a different Master. You salute a different Lord." (Page 105)

"Don't think of Christianity as having to do what a peevish God demands. Think of it as now being able to do what a good God demands. Through union with Christ we are empowered for holiness" (Page 112)

"Sleep is such a dull, stupid state of existence, that even amongst mere animals, we despise them most which are most drowsy. He, therefore, that chooses to enlarge the slothful indulgence of sleep, rather than be early at his devotions to God, chooses the dullest refreshment of the body; before the highest, noblest employment of the soul; he chooses that state which is a reproach to mere animals, rather than exercise which is the glory of Angels" (Page 130)

"When it comes to sanctification, it's more important where you're going than where you are. Direction matters more than position." (Page 138)

Think - John Piper

Piper's main point in the book is that thinking is indispensable in our pursuit of God however that thinking must be "soaked in prayer, carried by the Holy Spirit, tethered to the Bible, in pursuit of more reasons to
praise and proclaim the glories of God and in the service of love." We are encouraged to think but without the help of the Holy Spirit, we will not be able to find the knowledge of God. As we think and learn about God it fuels the fire of our love for God which then in turn fuels the fire of wanting to know God more and they both continue to fuel each other.

As we read the Bible, we need to think in order to truly "receive what God has to give us from the Bible." "Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything" (2 Tim 2:7) and "Seek (understanding) like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures...for the Lord gives wisdom" (Prov 2:4-6).  Thinking and asking God for understanding is not either or but both and. We can't think and not ask for God's help in understanding and expect to truly understand and we can't not think and just expect God to reveal.

In Matthew 16:1-4, Jesus is approached by the Pharisees and he said that they can use the skies to determine the weather and they could use the same reasoning to know Christ but their hearts are hardened so that they cannot use it to "draw true inferences from what is really there." This is where we need God to change our heart so that we can see the glory of Christ in the gospel.

Piper continues on to discuss how thinking is related to loving God. Loving God is only possible when something changes inside of you so that He becomes compellingly attractive and he becomes your surpreme treasure so that you love Him. This overflows into a love for others. This "second commandment" isn't equal to loving God but is the overflow of our love for Him. Our thinking  should be "wholly engaged to do all it can to awaken and express this heartfelt fullness of treasuring God above all things."

From here he goes on to take on relativism and anti-intellectualism. Relativism (the belief that there is no set truth, everyone has their own truth) is treason against God because God has clearly revealed himself (Romans 1) but since relativists state there is no standard of truth, it commits treason against God. The fact is, even relativists aren't true relativists because if they were in a court setting on trial, they would rely on set truths about their innocence.

For anti-intellectualism, if we give up on "raising a generation of people who give up serious, faithful, coherent thinking, we will have raised a generation incapable of reading the Bible." We need to think and use human reason in order to present and see Christ clearly.

In Luke 10:21, Jesus states that God has hidden the truths of the gospel from the "wise and understanding" but revealed them to "little children." The wise and understanding are those who have human wisdom which is prideful whereas "little children" are those who are humble and submit to Christ. If we were able to find God through human reason and human thought, we would have reason to be prideful and would have reason to boast. Therefore, as Christians and "little children" the only thing that we boast in is the cross.

To wrap it up, Piper wants to "encourage serious, faithful, humble thinking that leads to the true knowledge of God, which leads to loving him, which overflows in loving others."

be anxious about tomorrow, tomorrow

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble" (Matthew 6:34)

Worry, anxiety, fretting...these are all far too common words in our world today and in my world personally. But we don't just worry about today, we worry about tomorrow and the next day and the next year. For me personally, my worry is usually linked to finances. As the head of the household, I want to make sure everything is lined up so that my wife can stay home and raise our children instead of having to get a job and leave our children. So instead of just worrying about today, I worry about the rest of the week, month, year etc. I try to plan out my future to avoid anything happening to cause extra worry in the future when the bank account dwindles and we are out of options.

That being said, I don't think...let me rephrase that...I know that God doesn't want us to do this. First of all, he wants us to trust Him and rely on His strength instead of our own. But, I don't think He even wants us to rely on his strength to get us through the next week, month, year, etc...I think what he is saying is "My grace is sufficent" for today.

My worries are minor, I can't even imagine someone going through cancer or someone who has lost a child or a spouse. It has to be overwhelming to not only rely on God for the grace to get through today, but also rely on Him to provide enough to get through tomorrow and next week and next month but I think that is the key to what this verse is saying. Tomorrow will be anxious for itself or another translation says "Tomorrow will have it's own troubles" meaning that God's grace is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). Let God grace and strength get you through today and then tomorrow, He will provide you new and unique grace to get through the troubles that He knows you will face for that day. God is sovereign and God works out everything for our good and His glory in His timing, trust Him and wake each morning asking Him for fresh grace for today.